They're People Too Blog Fest: Lisa & Cartman Go To Starbucks

Blog Fest entry for http://tessasblurb.blogspot.com/2010/08/theyre-people-too-blogfest.html (<- click to enter and see others entires) . In this Blog Fest the point is to personify an abstract concept in about 500 words..
For mine, I am going to personify two of my own emotions- irritation and calm- as two cartoon characters you might be familiar with. This is a trip to Starbucks, in my head. Enjoy.

Somewhere in the Midwestern United States, there is a twenty one year old college student named Erica. She has blue eyes. If you have the patience and persistence to look deep into her pupils; through her corneas, past the retina, and behind the optic nerve, you may just find two little children staring back at you. It's quite the neurological discovery indeed.

The little boy may flip you off.

The little girl is quite jaundiced.

 On Tuesday the 28th of September 2010, Erica craved coffee.

After an hour of meditation Lisa takes a seat in the left socket. "Oh, look a Starbucks! Good, I could really go for a latte."
"Starbucks Lisa? Stupid hippie." says Cartman as he rounds the septum.
"What's wrong with Starbucks?"
"I'll tell you what's wrong with Starbucks, Lisa. It's from Seattle. And Seattle is full of coffee drinking hippies."
Outside, Erica gets out of her car and walks into the coffee shop. The building is warm and it smells delicious. Unfortunately, a line of customers winds in and out of the display towers holding logo mugs and thermoses.

"Hell no. Make her turn around." Cartman jumps up from his seat in outrage. After a moment, Cartman shoots Lisa a bewildered glare and grunts in exasperation. "Hello? Get us the %#$@ out of this dump, God Damn it!"

Lisa is unshaken, she crosses her legs and takes deep breathes. "Personally, I don't mind the wait. I really want a latte."

Cartmans face turns a shade of pink and his eyebrows angle down and in.

In line Erica looks up at the Specials Board. Todays special is a Double Fudge Brownie and a Soy Chai Latte.

Cartmans mouth pops open into an inverted black triangle and his eyes stare in wonder. Lisa gasps in delight.
For a few rare moments, Cartman is silent, filled with awe and anticipation. Lisa sits back down, and waits in bliss.

At the counter, a blonde barrista struggles to maintain order amid the 5 o'clock rush. As she flutters nervously between the register and the espresso machine, Cartman seethes. With his face pressed against the surface of the eyeball Cartman watches her inadequate service. His face turns red as he gradually stops breathing. Lisa remains fairly calm, sitting quietly on her yoga mat. Though, soon her foot begins to tap softly.

After 4 agonizing minutes, Cartman has stopped breathing entirely and his face has shifted from pink to maroon. Pushing up against the retina and without breathing he says,
 "I'm going to f***** kill you guys, seriously!"

After the last customer finally moves aside, Erica places her purse on the counter and opens her wallet.

Lisa jumps up from her mat and presses her nose to the surface of the eye, waiting next to Cartman.

The Barrista smiles and says, "Lets see Latte and a brownie. . . okay, that'll be $11.67." Erica jerks back in shock, throwing both Lisa and Cartman off their feet.

Dejected, thirsty, and ashamed by American society Lisa sighs, "The world is becoming such a cold, comericial wasteland! I can't believe how much I wa-"
"12 bucks? *&%$ that!" Cartman exclaims, "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"