This entry for both the Cliff hanger Blog fest!! and Cinderella Shoe Blogfest is a continuation of my last post, A Lie is Like a Dragon, it can stand on it's own, but if you want to read the beginning click on the link : ) This is an excerpt from my WIPWARNING: I broke the rules lol
Oh and just a warning about the word count, I blew it out of the water.. but it's okay, I just wanted to write =)
I scrolled down through the contacts in my phone and pressed send.
The nice thing about alcohol is that time becomes elastic when you drink enough of it. It seemed like a matter of seconds between hanging up and the knock at my door.
"Oh, my god! Bitch, where the hell have you been? I missed you!" Maddy shrieked.
"Yeah, me too. Long story. Let's just go okay?"
As soon as she noticed it, Maddy snatched the half empty bottle out of my hands and squinted at the label.
"What the hell? Is it alcohol?"
"Yes. My Grandma sent it from Russia for my twenty first," I said taking the bottle back and putting it in the freezer, "I need you to drive."
Her eyes lit up and she held her hands out for the keys to my Infiniti.
The next thing I knew, I was leaning over the edge of the counter waving a twenty dollar bill at the bar tenders. My wrists were lined with neon paper bracelets, glowing under the black lights.
The one who noticed me was a tall blonde girl wearing little more than a glowing white bikini. She leaned over and waited for my order.
Maddy threw herself into the gap between me and the group of guys on my left, "And a Jäger Bomb!"
She grinned and took the bill, "You girls have balls!"
No, just a very stubborn alcohol tolerance. I thought to myself.
The Liquid Cocaine tasted worse than I remembered, like liquorice and lighter fluid.
"Wooo!" Maddy cheered, "So, is that Alex kid is finally letting you have some fun or what?"
I had a very strong urge to backhand her. "Two things Maddy. One, Alex has never told me what to do. Two, don't talk about him."
She held up her palms. The bar tender finally pored the last liquor around the edges of my martini and set it in front of me. She handed me two little black straws and said, "You know the drill, wait until I say 'Go!'" I nodded.
She picked up her lighter and I put the straws between my lips. She pointed the tip at the edge of my glass and pulled the trigger, "GO!"
Blue flames ignited around the perimeter of my drink, the heat turned the cocktail neon green. I shoved my straws to the very bottom of the glass and drank as fast as I could. It tasted like chocolate milk.
When I came up, the people crammed around us were clapping and cheering me on. I didn't bother to fake a smile when I pushed past them. The base pounded through foundation of the building, with all the booze in my system, I felt like a Cocktail Shaker. I needed to sit down.
I didn't really care if Maddy was still following me or not. I took a seat at one of the tables against the wall and laid my face on the cool surface.
"Rocky?" The voice of my best friends "Baby Daddy" made my fists contract, like a reflex.
I looked up at Carlos, my nostrils flared and and my mouth pressed into a tight line.
He was drunk, holding a forty in the air like I was going to come in for a one armed hug.
"What the fuck do you want?"
I had always despised him, but when he told Lilly he didn't even want visitation with their son, I discovered a whole new level of hatred.
"Whoa, why so hostel, baby? I'm just trying to have a good time," He smirked and licked his lip, "Now that you're single."
An invisible wrecking ball flattened me into the brick wall.
I just glared at him. He laughed.
"Hey, ain't many Hispanics 'round here, news travels fast. I heard he's crashing with Azul."
I counted back from fifty, breathing through my nose. But then he touched me.
He set the forty on the table beside me and leaned in, "By the way," his hand rested on my thigh, "Thanks for taking the brat off my hands. But shit, if you want one of your own, we can take this to my car."
My hand found the neck of his beer bottle. It was open, but I swung it so hard that nothing came out until the glass shattered against the left side of his head.
He fell to the floor, probably unconscious, but I wasn't done yet. I only got one good kick in before I flew backwards.
A gigantic bouncer dragged me away and Maddy followed behind. The bouncer was on my side, but I still wanted to leave. And since Maddy was drunk, we had to walk.
Time got away from me again, but it was starting to get on my nerves. My thoughts were slippery, I wasn't having very many of them either.
I was in the bathroom. It was loud. I smelled weed.
The walls were mad at me, they turned upside down and threw me on the floor again.
"Great party girl!" Maddy's choppy blonde hair was next to my face, it was so messy. It reminded me of sex.
I pulled myself towards the toilet, she gave me a shot, "One more! Yeah baby!"
There was something in my other hand. The one by the toilet. I rolled over on my back and held it to my face. A rosary. Alex's rosary.
He was looking for it all week. I found it.
That fucking wrecking ball had been hovering over me in the bathroom. I remembered how his rosary ended up behind the toilet. We had make-up sex in the bathroom last month. When he still loved me. Before I made him hate me. It hurt so bad I screamed. Drink. Make it stop. I took the shot, and the invisible ball dropped right on top of me.


Hi Erica,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and commenting on my story. I'm reading your story... :-))
Doris
>>...The Liquid Cocaine tasted worse than I remembered, like liquorice and lighter fluid.
ReplyDeleteMmmm... Dang! That actually sounds pretty good.
"Bartender! Keep these coming."
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
Did my comment disappear or what?
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
I guess it did.... like I was saying.... that was a lot of drinking. I was starting to feel a bit sick as I read this. Now that I'm following your blog I'll be watching how your writing progresses. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
Very powerful descriptions of alcohol and being intoxicated. I liked the one that tasted like chocolate milk. Was intrigued by the finding of the rosary.Thanks for joining in my blogfest :O)
ReplyDeleteIntriguing read with a lot of powerful imagery that kept me wanting more. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHa ha this actually reminded me of "I hope they serve beer in hell". You and Max Tucker have a way with words.
ReplyDeleteVery vivid imagery and descriptions of her being drunk. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI would turn the page if there was one! Great job of keeping the voice going even while a character is drunk. Some people go way over the top with that but I think you nailed it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the contest!
Thanks for participating! We've judged your entry. o/\o *high five*
ReplyDeleteGood job on the description and making me feel like I had been drinking. Excellent scene.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments so far! Comments are like steroids for my Muse. : )
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this. It was descriptive and Rocky is a great character. I definitely want to read more.
ReplyDeleteGreat descriptions, you've got a very vivid way of writing that I really like!!!
ReplyDeleteRach
Hi,
ReplyDeleteFab scene setting here and lots of action, and darkness descends as cliff-hanger!
Good read!
best
F
Nice vivid writing.
ReplyDeleteWow, she truly wanted obliteration. The last paragraph does explain a lot. Love the wrecking ball metaphor.
ReplyDeleteEdge of Your Seat Romance
I'm glad the metaphor wasn't too much, I have to watch myself with that sometimes : )
ReplyDeleteThat protagonist has a much higher alcohol tolerance than I do. Sounds like she's trying to move on, but will probably keep finding trouble.
ReplyDeleteGood cliffhanger entry! I'd like to know what that invisible ball is! :) Thanks for sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteLots of action and vivid writing. Nice job on the cliffhanger! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Theresa, sounds like she's moving on. I suspect theres a few bad guys to deal with first. Good imagery with the drinking, definitely got a feel for the bar! Good luck with your writing!! :)
ReplyDelete:) Yay lol I wanted to capture that sense of intoxication without making sound like I was trying to "write drunk". The whole thing takes place immediately after Alex leaves her, as in 30 minutes after. You can read that bomb drop in the post earlier, which is also linked in the first paragraph of this post!
ReplyDeleteLots of action and a great ending. Wonderful job.
ReplyDeleteGreat action. The description immersed me into the scene.
ReplyDeleteMichael